Russian Consulate in Finland: the lair of ultimate slowness

March 9, 2015

Ok, it is time for an ultimate nagging.

All my essential documents were stolen in Ireland during the Web Summit (Dublin was an unexpectedly 19th century ghetto city full of junkies and rednecks, but that’s another story).

I am a Russian citizen, but I live in Finland.

Russian consulate in Dublin could only send me to MotherRussia, but I wanted to go to Finland.


This paper, called Laissez Passer allowed me to travel to Finland

Finnish embassy gave me the Laissez Passer (a document that allows you to travel once to a particular destination) on exceptional terms so that I could return to Finland, where I study and live.

My goal of getting that 250€ document and wasting money in Dublin, while I was going through the process, was to come back to my normal life in Finland and get the new travel passport in Russian consulate in Helsinki.

But! Bam! There it was! Fuck me, welcome to the Russian bureaucratic machine!

  1. I call them in mid November: “Sir, the earliest you can come apply with your inquiry is January 15″. So, 2 months waiting just to start the process. Ok.
  2. I finally come. “Alexander, we will now send a request to cancel your lost passport and then you will have to COME THE SECOND TIME to request a new one.” What? Fuck that shit! But what can I do? Anyway, it gets even worse.
  3. “You need another appointment? The earliest is April 20″. That’s another 3 frigging months.
  4. And then gettin the passport would take another 3 months.

So in total the process would take 8 fucking months to get a frigging passport. How optimized is that process, huh? How amazing is it that they think it’s ok that a person is forced to stay in one place for 8 months? That I can’t travel for work or for pleasure! God damn ridiculous!

Welcome to the Machine!

Welcome to the Machine!

Ah, the good old talking through the glass!

Ah, the good old talking through the glass!

So yeah, in the end, i decided I have to go to Russia and here I am now. Here getting a new travel passport takes 1,5 month (if you pay extra money of course!).

This is how the process should be organized:

  1. You get an appointment not further than 2 weeks away from your call.
  2. You come, they annul your travel passport on the spot via internal system.
  3. They check you and your passport in their database. They print your passport on the spot.
  4. You pay money in cash or via credit card, take your passport and happily walk away, posting online how awesome the Russian consulate is. It all takes a few hours and maximum 2 weeks of waiting for an appointment.

Что плять, русское консульство, это так сложно? 21ый век на дворе!

Written by: Alexander Tazh


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